Walking on Eggshells? A Practical Guide to Resolving Stressful Conflict At Work and Home is for anyone who experiences stress, distraction, insomnia or anxiety from unresolved conflicts, including employees and leaders, union representatives, volunteers and members of boards/councils. It is a primer for anyone and everyone who wants practical advice in understanding and addressing their day-to-day disagreements and concerns. It’s impossible for everyone to get along all the time, but it is possible to sort out most differences in an early and constructive manner.
This Guide will teach you the essential components of Marli’s “Mirror Conversations” which help facilitate an early resolution of disagreements. As part of this, you will learn how to:
- Push the pause button as soon as you realize you have become triggered by someone else’s comment, conduct or behaviour;
- Reflect on what is specifically bothering you (and why) before relaying your concerns to others;
- Respectfully reflect back (“mirror”) to others how you have experienced and interpreted their behaviour, in a way that is non-inflammatory and allows them to hear you without becoming reactive or defensive;
- Listen reflectively so that others feel safe sharing their honest concerns and perspectives with you (particularly when they differ from yours!) and lessens the likelihood of them shutting down, reacting disrespectfully or defensively or immediately escalating to a formal process;
- Reflect on feedback you have heard about yourself and consider ways in which you may have contributed to disagreements or dysfunction, even inadvertently, unknowingly and unintentionally;
- After exchanging perspectives, mutually reflect on ways to resolve the conflict consensually and then decide what to do if you cannot; and
- Finally, reflect on why certain conflict conversations may have gone sideways and what you can do to get them back on track.
With this Guide, you will use the past to plan and build a better future. Without this Guide, you risk getting stuck in the past, missing out on the present and losing your future.
No conflict is worth it.
No one should have to walk on eggshells.