From Conflict to Clarity: Lessons from 2024

As we step into 2025, it’s helpful to reflect on the past year and the lessons it has offered us. For many, 2024 may have brought its share of challenges, including moments of conflict – whether at work or home. While these experiences are unquestionably negative at the time, they also provide later opportunities for growth and self-awareness. By analyzing the sources of our stress and how we reacted to them, we can gain insight into how misunderstandings arise and how to better navigate similar situations in the future. This reflection equips us to enter the new year with more and better tools to navigate future conflict and controversy.

An important part of navigating through conflict is to remind ourselves of the distinction between others’ actions AND how we interpret them.

When we feel hurt or disrespected, it could be:

• Because of what someone else did;
• Because of our assumptions and thoughts around what someone else did (the meaning we attach to their actions); OR
• A combination of (1) and (2).

In my experience, our reaction is most often a combination of someone else’s actions and what we then tell ourselves about what happened and why.

Here’s a simple but all too common example: a colleague rushes by us, staring straight ahead with a serious look on their face. We say good morning. They say nothing. They don’t even turn to make eye contact.

Some of us won’t think about this again – we chalk it up to them being busy or distracted and carry on with our days.

Some of us might attach a narrative to what happened. It might be one of concern for them. For example, we might think “Wow, hope everything is okay, do they ever look stressed”.

Or, our narrative might be one of judgment. For example we might say “Wow, what a jerk. I guess no one taught them any manners”.

Perhaps our narrative is one of anxiety. We might think “Why they are so mad at me? I wonder what I did wrong”.

Our reaction, therefore, is a combination of what they did – and how we have interpreted it.

Conflict conversations (what I call MIRROR conversations in my MIRROR Method) are critical in that they allow us to fact-check our experience with them.

Most times, we will learn that the stories in our heads as to WHY someone has acted in a particular way are often more fiction than fact. Going back to the example above, we might learn that they were on their way to an important meeting and were late; or that they had just admitted a parent to hospice that morning. Perhaps they don’t even recall seeing us given their emotional or hurried state.

Even when our fear-based interpretation is accurate (that is, the person ignored us because they were upset with us!), a MIRROR conversation gives us an opportunity to better understand why, clear the air, and figure out how to address the situation so we can fix it instead of allowing it to fester.

Remember – not all that we think is true. Much of it isn’t. Despite this, our thoughts have such power over us and our relationships with others. Given this, fact-check them as soon as possible through a safe and supportive MIRROR Conversation.

Ready to support your team in moving beyond blame and negativity and support them with tools for healthy conflict resolution? Dive deeper into the power of MIRROR conversations and unlock actionable insights with Marli’s highly successful guide, “Walking on Eggshells?”.

Start your journey to better conflict resolution today! or contact us to learn more about our training programs!