Many leaders shy away from conflict. It’s uncomfortable. It’s messy. And in the moment, ignoring it feels easier (and less time consuming) than dealing with it head on, Unfortunately, we can’t wish away conflict and it certainly doesn’t disappear on its own. In fact, with each passing day, unresolved conflict causes increasing harm to team trust, performance and productivity.

As I note in The MIRROR Method, one form of conflict avoidance is expecting team members to “work it out themselves.” More often than not, they fail to do so, either because they don’t know how or because they’re concerned about the other person’s reaction.

If poor performance, disrespect, or interpersonal dysfunction isn’t resolved in an early and effective manner, the issues will worsen. Mistakes turn into negligence and disrespect turns into bullying. At this stage, avoidance is no longer an option. The conflict will be resolved through costly litigation. The only question is when, by whom, and in what forum.

What to Do Instead 

Instead of avoiding workplace conflict, engage with it early and respectfully. Here are three proactive ways to address workplace conflict before it spirals out of control:

• Step in early: You don’t need to have all the answers to intervene. A calm, curious 1:1 conversation with each party is far more effective than waiting for emotions to explode.
• Focus on specific facts, not personalities: Keep the conversation grounded in the issues at hand. Explore what people observed and experienced and be on the look out for unchecked rumors, assumptions, and speculation.
• Create psychological safety: Show, through your words and actions, that concerns will be dealt with in a timely and professional manner, devoid of pre-judgment, perceived bias and/or retaliation. When your team trusts the process, they’re more likely to use it.

A Leadership Check-In

What conflict are you quietly avoiding?
How might stepping in now help prevent this conflict from becoming a major setback?

As outlined in The MIRROR Method, leaders are legally expected to:

1. Create and support a respectful, productive workplace.
2. Act as a role model.
3. Hold others accountable.

This doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to resolve everything overnight. But by intervening early, you will move your team in the right direction and protect your organization from avoidable legal and relational harm.

Explore how The MIRROR Method can help your team address conflict constructively.

Or book a consultation with Marli to discuss respectful resolution in your workplace.